Today I thought I would write about anxiety. It is something that I have and that affects me often enough that I felt compelled to write about it. As a matter of fact, I'm having a bout of it today and so I thought writing about it might help snap me out of it. Sometimes I know what triggers it, and sometimes I don't. The feeling that comes over me isn't a good one and it is extemely uncomfotable. Sometimes I feel like my whole world is caving in and sometimes I just feel like something is wrong when nothing is. Today, it's a combination of both. I have nothing to be sad or angry or depressed about, yet my mind keeps trying to find reasons to be. It goes a little something like this in my mind on repeat.... "I need to make more money. I need a better job. I need to do better. I need to be better. I have nothing to show for. My life is empty and I have no one to share it with. I feel worthless and I don't know what to do about it." After saying all of these things to myself, I get angry and try my hardest to change my tone by proving to myself why all of those things are not true. "I have a good job and I make enough money to survive. Yes, I could make more money and find a better job, but right now, I have nothing to worry about. I'm taking the steps needed to get me where I want to be. I am constantly doing better. I am allowed to have bad days, I'm not perfect. I work hard and I know it and some day it will all pay off. My life is not empty. I have an amazing family and supportive friends that I know will always be there. I am not worthless. I help others for a living and in return they help me and motivate me to be the best I can be. I know what to do, and I am doing it. Today is just a bad day." Have you ever felt this way? Even after this conversation plays over and over in my head, I still cant snap out of it. The funny thing is, I know exactly what can help fix it. Exercise. It is my outlet, it is my release. (That and horse back riding, but that's much harder to come by.) I just made a decision. This weekend, which happens to be my birthday weekend, I am going to find myself a horse farm. I am going to drive out to Middleburg and have ana amazing day. I love it out there, it feels like home and I know that will make me feel better. Sometimes its a good idea to write things out. I am starting to feel better already. Words are powerful and I definitely believe in the power of positive thinking. Every day brings a new challenge, a new gift and a new life lesson. It is ok to have bad days and I am ok with having anxiety. So long as I can continuously recognize what is happening and do my best to find ways to get myself back on track, I will be ok.
Before publishing I came across this link - It was helpful and uplifting that I already was doing some of things it suggests to do. http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-small-steps-you-can-take-today-to-improve-anxiety-symptoms/00016637